Monday, October 3, 2011

Strongth

Strength is a quality that is rarely observed as being one that can hurt you, or prohibit you.  When people talk of strength, they always see it as a positive thing, and maybe it always is.  Something I have learned in my years is that something is hardly ever "always"; even the most sure things can seem questionable at times.  In my case, strength is being questioned.  To become strong, the path is never an easy one, but the reward is said to be worth it.  I am not questioning this, I am questioning whether it is necessary to be strong.  For some time now,  I have had to tell myself that the tough times are only making me stronger.  I would love to be able to whole-heartily agree to this, but I just cannot seem to do it.  My disagreement lies with the issue that to become strong, one must become weak.  Now weakness is something no one likes to associate themselves with.  I am going to die to my strength now and admit that I am pretty weak.  My weakness hurts.  It causes physical pain, but hey, it is just making me stronger, right?  Maybe so, but I cannot see it.  The only thing I can clearly see is the fact that I am very weak, and I do not want to be.  I want to be the strongest of the strong, knowing that will never be the case.  I work at accepting my weakness, but that only makes it worse.  Coming up with solutions for my weakness seems hopeless.  Then I realize that it is just that.  I will always be weak.  There is no killing my weakness, but I can overcome it.  There is a way to become strong enough to make my weakness seem hidden. Does this go back on all things I have mentioned?  Probably.  But I am about to be strong, and I know just how to make that happen. So what do I do?  How do I become strong?  Simply just get in the car.