Lace Up

Support can be a thing that one cannot truly appreciate until it is needed.  And when is support really needed?  Only when something goes wrong, when the unexpected happens.  The unexpected just walked through the door, yet I am glad.  The unexpected does not make me worry, is that good?  It is like sitting awkwardly in your own room eating store bought cookies.  I seem to like watching this happen, not actually doing it.  So you decide to get up to rest the knees, but satisfaction does not exist in standing, why would it?  You sit back down, only to get up and just completely leave the room, in an unsatisfied manner.  How can one distinguish between satisfied and unsatisfied?  Well the door was shut behind his leaving, so I put two and two together.  It is not difficult, just open your mind.  A crack is all it takes.  You can usually discover a crack on the nearby street corner, but I do not know if I could put my trust in that.  So I find my crack in music.  I honestly believe that is acceptable.  Speaking of acceptance, it just walked back into the room, this time sitting in an upright position without the cookies.  Acceptance has resorted to technology, at least he is being healthy.  For health is important, one cannot acquire it through words written in a magazine.  So stop reading magazines if you want to live.

bubble gum

smack pop!! onomatopoeia!!!! clap your hands everybody stand up and sing! this is real. this is the real feeling synthesized! everyone can feel it, your all special. I love you because you love me and we love each other and without each other what would we have? where would we be? this is all so so real nothing can touch what we have here in this moment and whats more... it last forever.  your my friend. this is what pop promises us. it wraps us up in its sticky arms and pulls us close and plants a big wet kiss on our cheek just like you obese aunt. it brings you in and promises the world to you and paints you the bluest sky. this is why we love it, well at least thats why I love it. the ideal. who does  not want to think that ultimately everything will work out how i  want it to. How I need it to. the reality is pushed from our catchy chorus chanting mind and all that is left is a ever crashing wave of pre teen euphoria. and we let this wave slam into us like we used to do at the beach standing against these waves getting the crap knocked out of us because isn't there something in being knocked back. thats why we love to love, thats we love you, bubblegum pop.

Unfamiliar Ground

Most people enjoy familiar company.  Rarely does someone like to be in a new place where they are the outsiders.  When the situation is flipped, you look upon an outsider as if they do not belong, and you could care less whether they are comfortable or not.  I believe this thought is the main reason we feel so uncomfortable in a new environment; we know what those other people are thinking.  We see the harsh eyes strike our appearance, judging every aspect of how we look, talk, and act.  The locals, as you may call them, do not look the least bit friendly.  As the outsider, we try to find one friendly face, just to receive a simple smile to know that we are still human.  There has been instances where this smile never comes, but there have also been instances where you meet a new person on a common basis.  I feel as if this is very rare, but since it is such a rare phenomenon, it also seems very premature.  This happened to me recently.  I did not receive any smiles, but something more.  I saw an object that made me feel so comfortable and so welcome that I could sit back and relax in this different crowd.  The object struck me by surprise.  I had never seen such a thing in my entire life, but this could not have been a better time to see it.  This object was a book, but it was not a novel, more like a guide to success.  In my eyes, if I could somehow have this book in my possession, my wealth as a person would greatly increase.  My knowledge on an important subject would jump to incredible heights.  The funny thing is, this guide, Blogging for Dummies, would help me to help you.  I would increase my ability to share my thoughts with the outside world, which I know all of you are longing for.  So in a sense, it would be one of the most selfless things I have ever done, and trust me, that is saying a lot.  But I have bad news.  I could not possess this book, so I must try my best to give you all I have and just hope that it is enough.  Knowing that everyone of you out there is selfish, I feel that my best efforts are like new hair cuts, no matter how hard you try to like it, it just does not satisfy you.  So technically I should rename this blog The New Haircut, but I just cannot do that.  Sorry again.  But this blog style is a new one for me.  Ted was not involved.  Do not expect more of this, for it is a one time thing.  For I will not place you in unfamiliar ground ever again.  Your welcome.

Rivers

Flowing through classic shades of endless limbs filled with bark, rivers is awesome.  To me they can be underestimated, but Lord knows that they can reach way beyond expectations.  The safe thing to do is to not set standards, because if you do, they will quickly be shattered.  Rocks and boulders will try to stop the flow and interrupt the continuous streams, but the calming river will greet them with a smile and pass right by.  Harsh terms or feelings do not disturb the soothing flow.  The tide can take any situation and continue to stay on the course it is traveling.  Consistency is key for rivers.  To be able to sustain a cool temperature and to present itself for everyone to enjoy is so selfless.  Even though rivers are so bright and so attractive, they are mediated by humility and care.  To know that the river can carry you home without having to put forth any type of effort is such a wonderful feeling.  The splash of happy laughter is something to cherish.  I know all who come in contact with rivers are left with a warm feeling, a feeling that keeps you coming back.  I know that rivers are special places that I know I can go to and put my entire trust within the  pure waters.  Rivers, you are the best.

Water cont.

I seem to always be asking myself if it is time.  I am constantly checking up on my status, anxiously waiting for the self assurance that everything is prepared, that all is in perfect order to proceed with my ultimate plan.  I have had my mind made up for some time now, but I feel as if I am not quite ready to dive in the deep waters of the unknown.  These waters are not distant though.  For they seem to be right beyond the hill and only knee deep.  I cannot wait for the time when I can freely relax in the smooth flow of the tide and rest on the water top.  It will be as if I am comfortable once more in the place I long to be comfortable.  But before then, I must get ready.  I must put on the proper gear, this may include floaters, I am honestly not sure.  It may take some time before I can trust myself with my swimming abilities.  I need to ease into the water, cautiously watching every step to make sure I do not slip, because if I do slip, I will be head under deep in uncomfortable waters.  But the water is inviting me in; this is why it is such a difficult task to gradually go deeper and deeper.  I want to just jump in, head first, without wavering any consequences.  I know this is not in my best interest.  If I want to be able to settle down in these waters, to put my trust in myself to stay above the tide, then I do not need to be checking the clock, for time is not important.  The rocks at the base of the water remind me of this important observation.  The deeper I slowly go, the softer the rocks.  I am beginning to let myself go, to be taken by the shady mirage of light blue.  The time is coming.  My skin can sense the warm water.  I must be close.  I am not quite there yet, but I hopefully will get there.  And I plan to stay awhile, and I am not afraid to get wet.

water

plato talks about the world of forms. he talks about this place where the truest form of an object resides. in the world of forms is a chair. now, here on earth, we can make some pretty mean chairs ,but even the best chair is merely a copy. it is only the shadow of the form that came before it and the real chair eludes the creator. try as we might we can not force anything we make to be anything but a copy. this can carry over into emotion. on this earth, we only feel copies of the true form. we say we are happy or we are in love but truly what we have is only a cheap imitation of the reality. we can feel and touch it but even still it is not real. we know this and we feel this in the most overwhelming waves. even in the euphoria of triumph when the world seems to stare at us and say, " it's all yours, go ahead and enjoy it". doubt creeps in. we wonder how long we can be on top. we wonder who is really the ones that truly love us. doubt creeps in and slowly though the world is a thing we grasp in our hands we begin to find a hole in ourselves. we being to try to fill it and while we think we are pushing more into it we are really clawing at the edges causing the hole to widen. We will spend our lives clawing at our chests hoping that we will be satisfied but really, when was the last time the shadow of a glass of water quenched your thirst.