Strongth

Strength is a quality that is rarely observed as being one that can hurt you, or prohibit you.  When people talk of strength, they always see it as a positive thing, and maybe it always is.  Something I have learned in my years is that something is hardly ever "always"; even the most sure things can seem questionable at times.  In my case, strength is being questioned.  To become strong, the path is never an easy one, but the reward is said to be worth it.  I am not questioning this, I am questioning whether it is necessary to be strong.  For some time now,  I have had to tell myself that the tough times are only making me stronger.  I would love to be able to whole-heartily agree to this, but I just cannot seem to do it.  My disagreement lies with the issue that to become strong, one must become weak.  Now weakness is something no one likes to associate themselves with.  I am going to die to my strength now and admit that I am pretty weak.  My weakness hurts.  It causes physical pain, but hey, it is just making me stronger, right?  Maybe so, but I cannot see it.  The only thing I can clearly see is the fact that I am very weak, and I do not want to be.  I want to be the strongest of the strong, knowing that will never be the case.  I work at accepting my weakness, but that only makes it worse.  Coming up with solutions for my weakness seems hopeless.  Then I realize that it is just that.  I will always be weak.  There is no killing my weakness, but I can overcome it.  There is a way to become strong enough to make my weakness seem hidden. Does this go back on all things I have mentioned?  Probably.  But I am about to be strong, and I know just how to make that happen. So what do I do?  How do I become strong?  Simply just get in the car.

waiting

its not a matter of how long i am willing to wait anymore. i know she will show up. she has to. i made a plan with her. essentially i gave her everything she wanted. all she has to do is pick me up from this stupid class and then we can go and i will buy her the best birthday dinner she has ever had. maybe smooch a little while we watch a good movie at my appartment, just a solid night. its not atypical that she show up late. for some reason i am always early i am always prompt and excited but she is always a little late. oh she has good reasons but still. to think in the last year of school that i had met her. i really think she is the one.. i mean thats the  kinda thing we all like to think and i would be lying if i said that i had not felt that before but this time... it could be. i had poured so much into her. so much time so much joy. no regrets but still alot of time. i know she loves to be late but this is insane i am taking her to her birthday dinner. she would never forget about me. all she has to do is pick me up. i am waiting. just pick me up.

Yeah

Anticipation is something that can come and go throughout conversation.  Meaning this as, for instance, excitement caves in on a conversation.  A participant cannot help but to feel some type of anxiousness.  Everyone has experienced some type of dramatic anticipation, there is no way around it, but what about someone who is or has experienced several different anticipations.  You may think this is not a healthy feeling, but I disagree.  Having several things to look forward to can be quite useful.  By not completely giving all concentration towards one greeting can tear a man from the inside out.  The anticipation of one moment, the long awaited arrival of something phenomenal, the simple joy in an overdue conversation can be devastating.  So, in my opinion, to spread the focus around to different parties can prevent a meltdown of imaginable proportions.  This breakdown may not be visible from the outside, but if the mind was on speakerphone, every one would listen closely.  A thing could be eating at a man's core, but only he could know it, and even if he did express this to others, only he would truly understand the struggle.  So many things we have to look forward to.  We mark our calenders for days that are months away.  We do this for a couple of reasons: we give ourselves something to look forward to, we are honestly excited about something, or we are not happy with the state that we are in.  It is usually a combination of these things, and there are also more elements involved in the equation, but those are the first reasons I came across.  I believe the worst one is the third one in ascending order from left to right.  The reason this is so dangerous is because we are secretly trying to runaway from something, to get away.  This can make time seem to stop, and no one wants that, especially in this predicament.  But it is when this problem is attached to the second one in order that allows us to survive the long, strenuous fight with anticipation.  To be truly excited about something is a great feeling.  You do not want the event to come too soon because you will not know what to do with yourself when it has gone away.  You look back, wishing something that awesome would come again just so you can be excited once more.  Excitement is usually not continuous, but comes and goes as pleases.  So we try to savor the moment when true excitement presents itself.  I have been excited for several things for an extended amount of time.  I have been fortunate enough to gain a new interest when another disappears, but my fortunate state is constant, for I have one thing that I can always look forward to.  When this time comes, I believe I will not need anything to look forward to; satisfaction will last.  That is a good feeling.  The struggles of waiting can be very rewarding.  I will know all about tomorrow night, but even after that, I have something else to cast my wishful thoughts upon.  Let's just say I am lucky, for these thoughts will soon no longer be wishful.  But until then, the several headed monster of anticipation will be struck down... by Harry Potter.

Boom

Adventurous has been a feeling of late.  I settled that feeling.  What is more dangerous than a Baptist preacher inviting you to a pizza dinner?  Exactly.  Or maybe it has been the food that is made to order.  I am not nor never will be "loving it."  Or maybe it is a store that only sells the thing you love the most, even though it can be quite itchy and aggravating around the neck at times.  Personally I could see all of these as adventurous, but I was selling myself short.  Good thing that it was early in the day.  With bikes barely barred on, the next road traveled had a firm grip on the frame of our car, for it did not plan on letting go any time soon.  Cautiously approaching, we neared the thought to be destination point for our next adventure.  We were silently mistaken.  The source that described our directions, though did give us a nice long paragraph of turn by turn information, could not see the road block that we were about to become very familiar with.  Ted and Todd thought they had this one easy, already planning other trips for the remainder of the day.  They could not have been more wrong.  But to their oblivious ignorance, they thought they had made it and the rest of the way to the next adventure was soon to come.  Again, they could not have been more wrong.  Unloaded the Specialized hardware and took out for the trail head that was just around the corner.  It was like fate was telling them not to do it when three large fur coats came running at them, barking pure nonsense.  They payed no attention, for they had their mind set on the obstacle ahead.  Off they go around the corner.  There turned out to be about 27 corners, and by this time, even Ted and Todd were searching for oxygen.  Ted was a little aggravated with Todd.  He thought that Todd had led them astray, and honestly he just thought that so he could have an excuse to turn back and go down the path only traveled.  Persistent, Todd carried them through with some verbal courage, but Ted only heard insulting.  Finally, the battle had been won, but they feared the war was about to begin.  After hiding the wheels, they went up, a long way.  Not only did they have to climb, but they had to dig.  A ski lift would have been useful.  They could feel the elevation in their chest, it felt as if they were breathing in ice dipped in icy hot.  And that was not the last of the ice.  After they had been traveling for some distance, the terrain turned crunchy and slushy.  They had no other way up, and they could not go back down, pride told them to.  So they kept on going, sliding and slipping their way up.  Just when trails were starting to flow in all directions, they saw the goal.  They could not miss it; it was all they could see for miles, miles, miles.  But they were not alone.  Others had come to experience the sight of the great icy peaks that smothered the sky, and they had brought along their boards.  Ted and Todd were not this fortunate.  The new terrain was struggling with instability; the two were having difficulty keeping their footing.  It did not matter what was now standing in front of them, they were not going to stop now.  And just when they thought they were almost there, they were there.  The view was magnified by 10 from their previous one.  No matter which way the table turned, miles were everywhere.  Sights that are normally seen from the sky were right in front of them.  The top of the peak was waiting on them, for they had an afternoon appointment scheduled.  They could feel the strength of the wind as it was marking it's already claimed territory.  They clouds were getting darker; they thought they had visitors.  Beginning to become darker, the two travelers thought it best to head back.  The journey back was going to be treated like a holiday; they had been looking forward to it since they began, but the real excitement was quite unexpected.  The travel down was more dangerous than the one up, and that does not seem very common.  Seeing the marks of one's before them, they had the idea to follow the footsteps of the worthy.  These footsteps did not last.  They made it down the hill very fast, and their feet were not touching the ground.  Accident turned genius, Ted used the snow covered mountain as a rocking chair.  He decided to take a seat, and the rocking began instantly.  Fearing he would not be able to come to a halt, he fought his way to stillness, just to look up to see Todd flying by him.  Ted continued what he started.  Cheers around the valley came in as they reached the bottom in their mildly wet shorts. Speed was something to be expected on the way southbound.  Once reaching the gravel road, helmets were then strapped on.  The metacarpals were in full use on this ride back.  Even though nerves were packed tight inside, they could not help but to let it go.  Going was not the problem, it was the slowing down that they feared.  Reaching Ruckus speeds, the two bikes were blazing down the path.  Jealously was shown on every passing face, for they too wanted to spread their wing and fly away.  They believed they could soar, some saw them running through that open door.  They locked up it and headed out.  Adventure was in the back seat, telling them all about what just happened.

Snitch

Does time really fly?  It seems so very often.  Ted can find himself trying to turn back the clock on several occasions.  The past seems so appealing; it would be great to go back and relive moments and time periods that you do not feel like you truly appreciated.  One can take many things for granted, but I feel like the last thing someone can see themselves taking for granted is time.  Always trying to rush through things, we are.  Ted has been struggling with this lately.  He does not know quite how to slow things down without being impatient.  He can do that.  One solution he has found successful is in his ears.  But even to Ted, that cannot last forever.  He has been put in a great situation, but he wants to expand his boundaries, branch out and be adventurous.  He has been tied down to other things lately, busy work that he is not too fond of.  And what hurts the most, is that most of the beautiful things he thinks of can be seen around him.  It is like they are inviting him to come play for hours and hours.  How could anyone turn that down.  Well, it seems as if Ted is forced to do just that for now.  The phrase for now is very important here.  In a very short period of time, Ted will be able to get away and get lost.  This where time comes into play.  As before, Ted would like to be able to manage his time the way that is not possible.  Ted wanted to speed up time, but now his thoughts have changed.  He never wants to leave the time he is in.  It seems he cannot be satisfied.  That is just it, he can't.  Selfish guy he is.  Some people have said that initially, it's all about Ted.  That is hard for me to believe.  One fine example is time itself.  The one thing Ted wishes he could control, he simply can't and will never be able to.  It's like time is playing games with him.  The moment he wishes he could just stop, the hands spin faster than ever, and when he wants things to speed up, the hands seem broken.  Dang hands, they never can get things right.  But as I was saying, Ted is in a peculiar predicament.  He has mixed emotions on time.  For time is of the essence, right?  Not exactly.  He loves where he is, playing all day, roaming the hills, but there is something else that he awaits.  The only good thing about this one is that he can have a countdown, for he knows when the day will come.  Of course, what does he do, what Ted always does, impatiently awaits yet another thing, but I have to be completely honest on this one, if it was me, I would not be able to be patient either.  He thinks about it often, how great it is going to be when the time comes.  He thinks that is one of the best things about leaving, coming back again.  So Ted secretly loves the wait, for he knows how great it is going to be when the time comes.  Ted is full of mixed emotions, but there is one emotion he is pretty sure of.  He cannot wait to express that emotion.  Time is not on his side, it is on his wrist.

For Rapids that Flow

So here we are, in the wild, doing anything but nothing, enjoying everything that's anything.  That is what it is all about, as they say.  I honestly would not know if this is what it's all about either, but if it is, I am well pleased.  To be able to keep your footing along a steep, rocky, amazing trail in the back country is the least of your worries.  Worries really do not exist where I am, or do they?  Even though someone can be in such a beautiful, carefree place, anxiety still creeps its way into the scene.  Thoughts on irrelevant things that I know I cannot control still occur, but I think I'm tired of these thoughts.  To be able to drown the worries in a pool of rapids is too easy.  It is available right out the back door.  Talks also help.  So I decided to take a walk.  Three miles have never seemed so pleasant.  I look to the right to find a way to stay hydrated and to the left a way to need hydration.  I chose to stay straight.  The walk wasn't easy.  Rocks were left homeless on the side, trying to meet new friends, but none of us were interested.  We had only one thing on our minds and that was walking.  And walking we did.  Greeting everything that passed us, and the best suited ones were non responsive.  After a while of trudging along, we reached our destination.  Awe.  Our shoulders were lightened as we watched the sunny glaze of the mountainous reflection that cast dimly over a smooth valley full of water.  I can't recall much, but worrying was not on my mind.  If the scenery did not do it, the American Spirits solved the problems.  And the best part was that it only took one to do the job.  That was all I needed.  The walk was over.  The best walk I have ever taken.  To end the day, I shared a fire with pen and paper.  We have shared a great deal of time together.  I have a feeling our relationship will only grow.  Look forward to that.

Nasty Complaints

It all starts from the winding wooden walkway that was between me and my departure.  The steps were friendly, making quiet gestures as I unconsciously greeted them.  I honestly do not remember the beginning of this long voyage, but I knew that I would remember the end.  As we entered the black sea with sporadic white dashes that split each side.  I guess you could say that was our boundary.  We were not hesitant to test those so called boundaries.  Conversations started slow, therefore, my interest was not at full capacity.  But my undivided attention was quickly regained.  The depth was increased when words were not only spoken, but they actually carried meaning.  Emotions decided to come off the bench and put in some quality minutes.  Even though these conversations were interesting, I had my own conversation with the tallest man on earth.  The scenery reminded me of him.  I felt like he would be pleased with what my eyes could see, he would not mind what I was listening to either.  In and out was my awareness.  It was not fair agree or disagree with one side or the other, for each opinion was well respected.  My thoughts did belong in these conversations, and as much as I would like to think, I hope they were necessary.  All in all, I enjoyed every mile that was shared, and I truly look forward to my voyage tomorrow, for the Nasty will be involved.

Lace Up

Support can be a thing that one cannot truly appreciate until it is needed.  And when is support really needed?  Only when something goes wrong, when the unexpected happens.  The unexpected just walked through the door, yet I am glad.  The unexpected does not make me worry, is that good?  It is like sitting awkwardly in your own room eating store bought cookies.  I seem to like watching this happen, not actually doing it.  So you decide to get up to rest the knees, but satisfaction does not exist in standing, why would it?  You sit back down, only to get up and just completely leave the room, in an unsatisfied manner.  How can one distinguish between satisfied and unsatisfied?  Well the door was shut behind his leaving, so I put two and two together.  It is not difficult, just open your mind.  A crack is all it takes.  You can usually discover a crack on the nearby street corner, but I do not know if I could put my trust in that.  So I find my crack in music.  I honestly believe that is acceptable.  Speaking of acceptance, it just walked back into the room, this time sitting in an upright position without the cookies.  Acceptance has resorted to technology, at least he is being healthy.  For health is important, one cannot acquire it through words written in a magazine.  So stop reading magazines if you want to live.

bubble gum

smack pop!! onomatopoeia!!!! clap your hands everybody stand up and sing! this is real. this is the real feeling synthesized! everyone can feel it, your all special. I love you because you love me and we love each other and without each other what would we have? where would we be? this is all so so real nothing can touch what we have here in this moment and whats more... it last forever.  your my friend. this is what pop promises us. it wraps us up in its sticky arms and pulls us close and plants a big wet kiss on our cheek just like you obese aunt. it brings you in and promises the world to you and paints you the bluest sky. this is why we love it, well at least thats why I love it. the ideal. who does  not want to think that ultimately everything will work out how i  want it to. How I need it to. the reality is pushed from our catchy chorus chanting mind and all that is left is a ever crashing wave of pre teen euphoria. and we let this wave slam into us like we used to do at the beach standing against these waves getting the crap knocked out of us because isn't there something in being knocked back. thats why we love to love, thats we love you, bubblegum pop.

Unfamiliar Ground

Most people enjoy familiar company.  Rarely does someone like to be in a new place where they are the outsiders.  When the situation is flipped, you look upon an outsider as if they do not belong, and you could care less whether they are comfortable or not.  I believe this thought is the main reason we feel so uncomfortable in a new environment; we know what those other people are thinking.  We see the harsh eyes strike our appearance, judging every aspect of how we look, talk, and act.  The locals, as you may call them, do not look the least bit friendly.  As the outsider, we try to find one friendly face, just to receive a simple smile to know that we are still human.  There has been instances where this smile never comes, but there have also been instances where you meet a new person on a common basis.  I feel as if this is very rare, but since it is such a rare phenomenon, it also seems very premature.  This happened to me recently.  I did not receive any smiles, but something more.  I saw an object that made me feel so comfortable and so welcome that I could sit back and relax in this different crowd.  The object struck me by surprise.  I had never seen such a thing in my entire life, but this could not have been a better time to see it.  This object was a book, but it was not a novel, more like a guide to success.  In my eyes, if I could somehow have this book in my possession, my wealth as a person would greatly increase.  My knowledge on an important subject would jump to incredible heights.  The funny thing is, this guide, Blogging for Dummies, would help me to help you.  I would increase my ability to share my thoughts with the outside world, which I know all of you are longing for.  So in a sense, it would be one of the most selfless things I have ever done, and trust me, that is saying a lot.  But I have bad news.  I could not possess this book, so I must try my best to give you all I have and just hope that it is enough.  Knowing that everyone of you out there is selfish, I feel that my best efforts are like new hair cuts, no matter how hard you try to like it, it just does not satisfy you.  So technically I should rename this blog The New Haircut, but I just cannot do that.  Sorry again.  But this blog style is a new one for me.  Ted was not involved.  Do not expect more of this, for it is a one time thing.  For I will not place you in unfamiliar ground ever again.  Your welcome.

Rivers

Flowing through classic shades of endless limbs filled with bark, rivers is awesome.  To me they can be underestimated, but Lord knows that they can reach way beyond expectations.  The safe thing to do is to not set standards, because if you do, they will quickly be shattered.  Rocks and boulders will try to stop the flow and interrupt the continuous streams, but the calming river will greet them with a smile and pass right by.  Harsh terms or feelings do not disturb the soothing flow.  The tide can take any situation and continue to stay on the course it is traveling.  Consistency is key for rivers.  To be able to sustain a cool temperature and to present itself for everyone to enjoy is so selfless.  Even though rivers are so bright and so attractive, they are mediated by humility and care.  To know that the river can carry you home without having to put forth any type of effort is such a wonderful feeling.  The splash of happy laughter is something to cherish.  I know all who come in contact with rivers are left with a warm feeling, a feeling that keeps you coming back.  I know that rivers are special places that I know I can go to and put my entire trust within the  pure waters.  Rivers, you are the best.

Water cont.

I seem to always be asking myself if it is time.  I am constantly checking up on my status, anxiously waiting for the self assurance that everything is prepared, that all is in perfect order to proceed with my ultimate plan.  I have had my mind made up for some time now, but I feel as if I am not quite ready to dive in the deep waters of the unknown.  These waters are not distant though.  For they seem to be right beyond the hill and only knee deep.  I cannot wait for the time when I can freely relax in the smooth flow of the tide and rest on the water top.  It will be as if I am comfortable once more in the place I long to be comfortable.  But before then, I must get ready.  I must put on the proper gear, this may include floaters, I am honestly not sure.  It may take some time before I can trust myself with my swimming abilities.  I need to ease into the water, cautiously watching every step to make sure I do not slip, because if I do slip, I will be head under deep in uncomfortable waters.  But the water is inviting me in; this is why it is such a difficult task to gradually go deeper and deeper.  I want to just jump in, head first, without wavering any consequences.  I know this is not in my best interest.  If I want to be able to settle down in these waters, to put my trust in myself to stay above the tide, then I do not need to be checking the clock, for time is not important.  The rocks at the base of the water remind me of this important observation.  The deeper I slowly go, the softer the rocks.  I am beginning to let myself go, to be taken by the shady mirage of light blue.  The time is coming.  My skin can sense the warm water.  I must be close.  I am not quite there yet, but I hopefully will get there.  And I plan to stay awhile, and I am not afraid to get wet.

water

plato talks about the world of forms. he talks about this place where the truest form of an object resides. in the world of forms is a chair. now, here on earth, we can make some pretty mean chairs ,but even the best chair is merely a copy. it is only the shadow of the form that came before it and the real chair eludes the creator. try as we might we can not force anything we make to be anything but a copy. this can carry over into emotion. on this earth, we only feel copies of the true form. we say we are happy or we are in love but truly what we have is only a cheap imitation of the reality. we can feel and touch it but even still it is not real. we know this and we feel this in the most overwhelming waves. even in the euphoria of triumph when the world seems to stare at us and say, " it's all yours, go ahead and enjoy it". doubt creeps in. we wonder how long we can be on top. we wonder who is really the ones that truly love us. doubt creeps in and slowly though the world is a thing we grasp in our hands we begin to find a hole in ourselves. we being to try to fill it and while we think we are pushing more into it we are really clawing at the edges causing the hole to widen. We will spend our lives clawing at our chests hoping that we will be satisfied but really, when was the last time the shadow of a glass of water quenched your thirst.

swimming

the warm sun drenched their bodies for hours. swimming laughing playing the first warm rays of spring against their ebony bodies that winter had held so long in its embrace. the clear sunlight danced on the surface of the water and as they pulled themselves out of the still chill water they lay on the warm dock. words were not needed they had moved past words and into something more real. the cool air began to blow and chill bumps formed across their backs where the small droplets of water began to dry and disappear. they looked at one another. each laying with their cheek pressed against the spring warmed dock. they pondered each other and gazed into the blue and green pools that were before them, knowing that these pools were warmer and more satisfying than the one they were floating on. the pools began to close. they began to flicker as the coolness fled and the warm sun began to overtake their senses. slowly they were being lifted. heaviness was added to their still breathing each one hanging on trying to swim in the others eyes a bit longer but it was no use. the rolling waves patting against the side of the dock like a metronome slowly sped them away.  one small soft hand in a large warm one they journeyed on and kept swimming long after the sun had fallen and the cool of the spring night set in.

Sense and Ability

Sense and Ability.  At first, the two seem to clash like the titans of Greek mythology.  But the neat thing about these two is that it takes one to complete the other.  Sense is a term which means the physiological capacities within people that provide inputs for perception.  Everyone has this capacity inside of them.  People can sense the change of moods by observing reactions to common interactions.  Sometimes people have a hard time reading these so called reactions, and sometimes people can mistake these reactions for something that they are not.  This misinterpretation can create a mess.  One person has to be aware of his actions at all times.  No slip ups so the other does not perceive the wrong impression.  This can take a great deal of talent, which leads me into my second term.  Ability is a powerful term.  A person's ability allows them to achieve their goals, to be successful.  Everyone wants to be successful.  Ted does for sure.  So when the problem arises to be able to perceive the correct sense or vibe of another, Ted wants the ability to do that.  Personal interaction occurs every day, sometimes more serious than other times.  When the serious times come, Ted wants to be ready to approach it like he would approach a grizzly bear.  He doesn't need to quickly run away because it may chase after him.  Crazy beast those things are.  Ted needs to think about the situation at hand.  Maybe try to ease into a conversation with this bear.  Try to act calm, no instant movements, just calm, chill actions.  The bear respects the way Ted presents himself.  He bids him a farewell, and the two positively depart.  (a story within a theory).  But there are other times when Ted wants to just run at that bear with arms wide open.  Knowing that he will most likely be malled to death, he is willing to take that chance.  He is so anxious to grow in his relationship with that bear, but he knows he must take things slow.  This decision is okay with him.  He knows that it is the best and least lethal choice.  These two terms can help each other out to acheive a greater meaning.  The term is sensibility.  Replacing the i and a of course, but all in all, these terms create something important.  Without them, Ted would not be alive.

Why Not

Don't you just love it when you realize that something is good only after you pass it up.  A perfect pick and roll scenario.  Come off the high post, defender flashes, the screener slips it for a wide open lay up and you hesitate.  You try to force it, but it is too late.  This scenario can play into many situations in life.  I know you have all had these moments.  And it is okay.  It is natural.  But man don't you wish you could go back in time and rethink decisions.  I know Ted does.  He told me the other day.  Something was presented to Ted some time ago.  He liked the proposition that he was served.  Many people liked it for him.  But it was just something about the atmosphere he was in that led him to believe it wasn't real.  As if it was almost set up to fail.  Ted heard a gust of wind telling him to beware, that this situation might not be as perfect as he thinks.  He took this into serious consideration, for wind can be quite convincing, and Ted respects the fair breeze. So he let it slide by.  He shut the door once again, afraid to leave it open behind him.  For Ted did not know what may come of the situation, and worst of all, he was afraid to wait and find out.  So what does he do, slams the door and throws away the key.  Now Ted is in yet another predicament.  He is tired of shutting doors, tired of wasting opportunities that he might actually find soothing and unexpectedly great.  So Ted is now looking for the key that he once threw away.  There may be a slight window of opportunity for Ted to check on this past situation.  He is just hoping for that chance.  And maybe, just maybe, if he plays his cards right, that door just might open back up.  There, in the door way, Ted will be greeted by Opportunity herself.

Truth

Inspiration can come at any moment.  People usually see the opportunity for inspiration, but only few actually use that opportunity to create something great, to use what they were given to achieve greatness.  Greatness is broad.  One talks of greatness as an every day characteristic.  True individuals know this to be false.  Ted is an individual who saw the light of inspiration flash in front of his face.  As any decent human would do, he puts it in his front pocket for accessibility.  Now he pulls it out to use it.  Ted uses this outside inspiration to discuss truth.  Like greatness, truth is fairly broad.  Some see two sides to truth, maybe even multiple sides.  But in almost every situation, truth can be inversely proportional.  When arguments arise, usually at least two people are present, for one cannot argue with themselves.  Between these two people, the same truth is quite evident, but each see this truth from a different perspective.  For one may see it as a stepping stone, to strengthen a relationship, and the other sees it as crushing the very thought of the other's existence.  Man how one truth can turn the table on people.  No matter how hard you try, you cannot discover two truths.  It is all about one, consistent proposal.  This can bring out the best in people.  For two individual minds to come together in such unity to derive one simple but in depth truth can only mean one thing, that this relationship is real.  Real relationships have the ability to unwrap such great truth, the truth that even if we try harder than anyone else, that we are the best that we could possibly be, that we are pure, that we see the light.  The one simple truth is this:  we can offer absolutely nothing.  This truth is greatness.

sliders

standing on top of the world. lift the goggles for an instant and the blinding white is too much to bear. Back down goes the shield. you breath once, maybe a few more times ( just for good measure). behind you is tame, the known, the conquered. half on, half off. the precipice stands in front. you grip these metal sticks like their very presence is the only thing preserving your sanity. Another breath ( just for good measure). You push off with your metal sanity. the wind begins to slowly building just like your flight. its not a natural thing to fly but that is why you do it. Who wants to be natural. Sliding you remember your mom. you remember that slide in that particular fast food restaurant that your mom would begrudgingly let you enter. you remember that smell? that sticky slowness and that long squeaking sound of the exposed skin on your slower back as you stickily slide down. reality comes rushing back with that whipping wind. your mind is not in control it is all body. your effort is great but your is greater. you slide yes; but first you fly.

Randolf the Wizard

          We all have a standard.  Sometimes we miss, hit high, or hit low, but we always have something to reach for.  Ted loves these endeavors even though some become struggles and don't always take the path he wants them to.  Ted is about see this endeavor through another medium.  Something not of himself that he can follow, critique, and experience without putting himself at jeopardy.  Don't we all want that?  This automotive has been down a long road and had a trying endeavor, yet Ted has not always been faithful... Though not afraid to admit it.
           This train has many stops.  It is not so black and white as a caterpillar and a butterfly.  There are many more stages than just two.  Ted would like to think that this train is beginning to hit its trail hard and pick up speed.  It is finally able to find a good speed, nothing too admirable but not a bad sight for the eyes.
           The real question is how does it know when it reaches the finale?  If the driver is satisfied with the journey, but the crowd believes it should go on, who is right?  It comes down to why the train is traveling.  Does it move for the approval of the crowd or does it roll for its own enjoyment.  Ted will find out.  Hopefully he keeps watching.  But will his eyes influence the train's path?

Keys

Ted has just came in contact with something that most people do not approve of.  Man oh man these people usually do not have friends.  Ted is still friends with these people, but it is hard to maintain a quality friendship.  Do they even deserve a friendship such as Ted's.  Honestly who knows, oh, I know, Ted does.  Ted "lost" one of his possessions.  He and friends went out to have dinner in the dirty M.  Enjoyed his dinner, Ted did.  He even shared s'mores with the Nastiness himself.  Sharing the s'mores with his "friends", everything seemed to be all well.  Ted is actually enjoying the evening so far.  The crew begins to proceed to leave the restaurant, and nothing seems to be out of place.  Little did Ted know, one of the most "key" possessions was not in his belonging.  He noticed something was misplaced when one his friends asked him if he knew where his possession was.  Boom.  Where were they?  Ted was circled with smiles.  These smiles were not ones of joy, but of mischief.  Ted travels back to where he thought his possession was last seen.  He was then told that the possible destination was the Peabody.  How could they get there.  Does this possession have a mind of it's own.  Sure does seem like it.  Ted enters the Peabody in search for his possession.  Throughout this search, Ted is slowly becoming quite agitated, but not seriously.  Ted is sent to another level through a set of stairs.  Winding around like he was trying to find a spot in a parking garage, Ted's eyes were pealed.  Just as his possession was about to make his search a little more difficult, his eyes light up.  There it is.  Evil has been defeated, and most importantly, Ted can drive away happy.

8 bit bible

walls of people colliding like waves smashing against a cliff.  the rhythmic movement we all  move with one heart. the beat rises and falls at our whim we are the rulers of this realm. in this euphoria we can not be touched, we can not be moved, we wish to live in this moment forever. we are the movers and shakers, we are the innovators, we are the life blood. walls of indifference and inhibitions fade with the grinding of the noise that washes over us. we are made anew each night. we are the creators of our own world. we dance, yes. but we do more, we create, we live.  some are scared. they look they watch unable to understand what exactly they are seeing. life being created and worlds being toppled does not always make everyone comfortable.  We all stand and read from our 8 bit Bibles

granny smith

One might say that ted is a connoisseur of sorts. He has many loves. he loves art, literature, walks, The usual. Ted is especially fond of apples. two apples stand out to ted in particular. his old standby, his real love. the granny smith. it has been with him since his youth he has always loved it. the crisp taste, the texture all familiar, all safe. he goes to the granny everyday. it always picks him up. it always takes him back and always satisfies. Recently ted has found a new apple a fiji. its sweet its alot of fun, but its no granny smith. ted knows that the fiji could never replace it with all its sweet trappings. he will always be drawn to that firm tart first love. Many say perhaps ted is changing. perhaps he may like this new apple more, that he is replacing his first love. ted knows this could not be further from the truth. he will always stand by the granny smith.

Wot

          If that's wrong, then I don't ever wanna be right.  Right? Ted hopes so.  It's a loaded statement, and Ted doesn't take it lightly, and yet it can be passed over so easily with a simple nod in agreement or lack of interest.  It thinks for itself.  It doesn't assume that whatever is named wrong is in fact wrong and does not accept that status with a simple nod in agreement or lack of interest.  It is not accusatory.  It accepts the label and continues with it.  It has confidence.  Despite obvious opposition, it is almost too sure and confident in its certainty that it is unsettling.  

          Maybe it has been a long day, or more importantly Ted thinks it has been a long day, so therefore he acts accordingly.  Suddenly, because it has been a long day, he is allowed to be in a not-so-great-mood, do what he wants, and feel ok about it.  Unfortunately, this feeling is familiar.  It does not occur often but still too often.

         Words become just words.  Ted knows he is in trouble because when words become just words then living becomes just living and essentially becomes just surviving.  He knows the world could come crashing through his vulnerability yet that could be just what he needs.  Lucky for Ted.  No oceans around.  

          Maybe Ted needs to think for himself.  Maybe Ted needs a little innocence.  Maybe Ted needs some confidence.  He currently has none of these qualities but knows he needs them.  Well, he doesn't know, but someone else does and that is really the only thing that matters.  

         Ted is confused how the not-so-stranger could infuse him with qualities he thought he already possessed.  It was only a statement, and he was the recipient.  Everything is just words after all.

Balling?

To finally become a part of society and be formally presented is a big step in person's life.  I am sure it is not the biggest day of their life while wearing a flawless white dress, but it has to be in some way exciting.  If Ted happened to be a female, he would probably like it the least.  Thank goodness for Ted's gender.  But for some, the hype is set at high levels.  Denying this fact all they want, they all seem to enjoy it the slightest bit.  From a guest just there to observe and report the beauty of the atmosphere and most importantly to look presentable, I always seem to enjoy myself.  Whether holding the gloves of a participant, or just dancing like a fool, all seems to end up just fine.  People stand in large crowds trying to get noticed by the first person that catches their eye.  They will talk loudly so others will have no other choice but to acknowledge them.  To me, this is funny.  This is one of the things I happen to enjoy the most.  But it is never good to depend on other for your entertainment.  Throughout these large crowds, smaller groups assemble in the corners to have their separate conversations.  Ted seems to always find himself there.  Suits him well in my opinion.  He is not one to stand out.  White dresses drown out the black slacks that surround them.  Smiles are found on every face, whether they are true or not, they are there.  Fun is available.  The small group with gingers, girls of England, Mexicans, and the good old boys find themselves talking amongst one another.  Dancing begins.  Twirls and twists so fast someone may lose consciousness.  Pretzels are served up hot on that dance floor.  The night slips by.  When all is said and done, those who were most important find themselves immersed in a society they hardly understand, for they are to depart for another place, a place they call home.  All is done for a purpose.  But it is not said that all is to be understood.  For on this night, young and old alike, enjoy the company of the fortunate, for they are not the minority.